My horoscope has been freakishly accurate lately.  Yesterday, it said that "something will come to light that may seem bad, but is actually good," and lo and behold, it comes out that I am moonlighting.  I didn't think I was breaking any rules by moonlighting, but I was thinking that letting that cat out of the bag probably wasn't going to do me any favors, but its out and I actually got a compliment out of it, and more importantly, there isn't any negative repercussions.

Last night I read Stephen King's "Children of the Corn" and then went running, at night, by a field.  The story is so unrealistic that it isn't scary, not on a visceral, there is something behind me oh crap what do I do level, but the circumstances were conspiring against me.  My husband is always bugging me about not running at night, he thinks its dangerous and has suggested in all seriousness that I carry a baseball bat as a way of protecting myself, so maybe that layer of guilt has made it more difficult to relax into my run.  After all, if I am attacked by corn children then I will also have to contend with the fact that Phil told me so. 

I always think that maybe the fear of getting attacked is a good motivator for a run.  Maybe that fear gives you just enough of an edge to make it past the wall, if you will, and send you into the realm of really fast running, the kind of motivation that breaks through the sludge and gets your heart pumping.

I'm having kind of a bad day. 

 

I woke up absolutely exhausted and with no desire to get up and move.  I could have laid in bed for hours and hours, but the unforgiving alarm clock was demanding and time marched forward, so if I wanted to both shower and make a lunch I needed to get up and get started. 

 

I also made a stupid email mistake, where I cced my boss on an email that he didn't need to see.  Probably shouldn't see, really, and more than once I've fervently wished you could call email back once its released, track it down in cyberspace and zap it before it causes any damage.

 

I immediately got a phone call that indicated I needed to make another stop today, adding to my to do list.  I should have gotten this step done yesterday, but there wasn't time. So putting off, it has landed at my feet today, which means I get no rest inbetween teaching and work, which makes for a longer day and more planning ahead.  I am ready to be done; I am ready to go to sleep; I am ready to lay down on the couch and dumb out for awhile.  But not for another five hours, at the very least.

 

The good news is once today is done, the rest of the week will be fairly easy to handle.  In that tomorrow I work for about five hours, and then I can go jogging and relax before enjoying an hour of power to celebrate a friend's birthday.  So that's cool. 

 

I also need to spend some time with my husband.  We hardly saw each other yesterday because of the Lost season premier, and an ill-timed joke pissed both of us off.  I don't really think of my marriage as something I need to work on, but of course it is.  I need to be able to devote time and energy to my husband, at least a fraction of which I normally slather on my jobs and students; a dinner out where we can sit down and relax and talk about the day (or the week) is a great idea.  I am really liking the idea of that tonight, but it may be reduced to frozen pizza and Clone High.  Which isn't the worst thing in the world, either. 

 

I am almost done with the boredom that is life this week.  My job is in one of the "slow patches" that goes on for about two and a half weeks, before the students come back and life begins to not suck again.  I am very happy about my job, many days I walk out to the parking lot thrilled that I work where I work and that I get to do what I do, but these slow, boring patches just kill me. 

 

The boring patches consist of many meetings.  These are not usually good things.  The meetings are usually involving issues that I don't care about and don't relate a lot to the work that I try to do.  I see my job as being very student-focused, and when the students aren't around I don't have a lot to do.  Sure, a week or so is great to catch up, clean up and prepare, but any longer than that and I start looking for a way out.  Career-wise.  I'm not that dramatic.

 

So, one of the workshops I attended today was about making good food choices while away from home.  I'm increasingly intrigued by how much chatter there is about "good food choices" when it seems like most good food advice can be boiled down to about three rules:

 

1.  Eat stuff that has fewer than 5 ingredients.

2.  Watch out for portion control.

3.  Don't drink soda. 

 

The first rule is really the one that rules them all.  It covers everything, and in a way that is frustrating.  If so many people are fat, than shouldn't it be harder than that?  What's wrong with us?  And I guess the answer is simply that its just hard to eat right, because there is so much junk food out there that tastes awesome.  You almost have to trick yourself into forgetting about it to be successful.  And on top of that, to lose weight you must work out. 

 

I've discovered something cool about that, though.  I have been pretty vigilant about my food choices for the past few weeks, and I am not as hungry as I was initially.  The first few days back at work the tempation to hit up the vending machine for some Sun Chips was a lot stronger than it is now, when I can be satisfied with half a Chipotle burrito.  That, at least, is optimistic.

 

I wish I were more consistent about this blogging thing.

 

Anyway, all regrets aside.  It is a New Year!  I really like making resolutions.  It quickly evolves into my resolutions basically proclaiming that I am going to improve each and every aspect of my life.  I will be a new, more perfect person as the year breaks.  This never happens.  I do pretty well; I have largely eliminated procrastination as a vice and this year I am kicking ass on the working out and eating better, but I don't think Dec 31st will ever come and I'll be content to not make any changes.  But thats not the way we work, is it? 

 

So far I have been really successful about the eating/working out.  I am even enjoying it a little.  I've started interval training, which goes a little something like this:

 

Begin workout.  This of course requires at least 20 minutes of heavy internal wrangling, talking myself into taking the step of putting on the shoes, the sports bra and walking to the gym room.  The hardest part is usually getting up off the couch.  Which is why that book titled "So and So Gets Up Off the Couch" is a great title.  I think of that a lot during the internal wrangling.  It's like in the morning, when you KNOW you have to get up and go to work, but the bed is warm, and sleep is nice, so you struggle and push things until the last minute, then you run with wet hair to your car because your late. 

 

After about 3 minutes of light peddling or jogging, I kick it up a notch to a 7.  I last for about 30 seconds, and then I collapse back into a slog, thoroughly exhausted.  Repeat, adding intensity until I am peddling at a 9, ready to die and take everyone with me until the stupid digital clock ticks over and tells me how far I've gone, and I can stop, and relax.  For a minute and a half, and then the process begins all over again. 

 

I will be happier when it is nicer outside, and I can run.  Running in the cold makes me feel like a badass, but it also makes me feel like crap.  If I can tough out the working out in the cold, then when spring comes it'll be soo easy, and I'll be thin and won't have any problems, ever again.  I'll get to stop making resolutions!

 

Doubtful.  Probably not even desirable, really.

 

 

 

In order to keep the silence and my fear of zombies at bay, I download and listen to podcasts at work.  I listen to politics, history, culture....a wide variety, and that helps keep me engaged and interested in the work I am doing. 

Today I am listening to Anderson Cooper 360 podcast, and its surprisingly fun.  The stories are varied and Anderson Cooper can be counted on to crack up at an appropriate moment.  Not at an annoying moment, which always seemed to happen on SNL with JImmy Fallon, but he can crack a smile in a likeable manner about beauty queens and politicians...not in a Daily Show way, but classy.  It's not the point, but its still there.

 

I bet Anderson Cooper has a blast.  I bet he goes through those war torn areas and other isolated, remote places and has a blast.  You can tell he embraces whatever he comes across for the opportunity it offers, and I bet he gets so many girls...I mean, seriously!

 

Today Cooper was in South America with an Australian Marine Biologist, studying the Great White Shark and preparing another "Planet in Peril" series.  This is good news on a bunch of fronts.  More Planet in Peril, which was fascinating (and had cute polar bears and Anderson Cooper getting attacked by an elephant!  He said the F-Word!) and I bet Cooper got it on with the Marine Biologist.  See?  Everyone wins.